Re Gift?

I gave a gift to someone this Christmas and they were disappointed in what they unwrapped.  My heart turned inside  me as I watched the expression of this persons face.  I had put some thought into the gift  and quickly shared in the disappointment.  Was it unthankfulness on their part? Lack of understanding?

Later, I reasoned with myself about the incident.  A gift is a GIFT.  I don't OWE it to someone.  I gave it from my heart.  But what if it's received with less than gratitude?  Did I give it so that I would be praised and thanked or did I give it out of love? Did the gift "fit" that person?  Even if they don't understand that "fit" yet?

My mind quickly moved to the gifts that I have been given. Mainly by my Creator.  I am thankful for the skills and talents that He has blessed me with BUT sad to say....I haven't always been.  I would look at other women and wish I had what they had...do what they could do...BE more like them...look like them...create like them...not understanding that the gifts I was given were designed just for me.  I wanted to re-gift. I didn't understand the "fit" yet.  I had to develop and use my gifts to see and enjoy the "fit".

I believe we are given new gifts all the time...we just need to open our creative and spiritual eyes.  Not be so quick to toss things away.  Ponder, maybe even set on the shelf for just a bit and wait and see what need will arise that you can use this gift.

During the Homespun Fair, an older woman came into my booth and was looking at the silver ball chains that  held my pendants.  She asked me if they were strong.  Thinking that she was asking me if they would hold the chunky pendants that I made I told her that I had never had one break.  She asked if she could just buy a chain.  I said "yes" and begin to think about how much to charge her.  I removed the chain from a pendant and took it to her and as I did I was impressed to 'give' it to her.  While I was holding the chain she began to dig around in her purse and pulled out 2 little silver toe rings.  She told me they represented two loved ones who had died (one of them being her daughter) and she had not been able to wear them for a long time.    She handed me the rings and I slid them on the chain and placed it around her neck.  She asked "How much?" and I answered "Nothing. It's a gift."
She burst out in tears.  Buried her face in her hands and sobbed.  I touched her shoulder.  I hadn't been prepared for her reaction, after all, the chain had cost me so little.  She told me that she didn't know what to say and clutched the rings in her hand.  I said she didn't need to say anything and go have a blessed day.  She walked away with the little gift I gave her....but I knew it was SHE who gave me the bigger gift.

My empathy for people who are hurting often causes me great pain.  But I see it as a gift. It fits me.  I won't re-gift it.

As Christmas day continued on, the gift I gave began to show it's worth to the disappointed person.  They saw the 'fit' and as they used it...became very thankful...

Little Eyes...

My son watches me.  Both the good and bad....he takes it all in forming his opinions of his relationship with me and the world around him.  The things that I love...he loves.  This is why I am purposeful in my faith, deeds and things that come out of my very vocal mouth.

I teach Art at the Ymca.  My son goes with me and when class is done he plays for a while with the other children.  He and another little boy where playing with a doll house.  They had turned it into a war zone and  were protecting the women and children in the house.  I listened to all the sound effects and the dialog between these two young heros while I was putting everything away and to my horror I heard one of the teachers say to him, "Well, you're just an evil little boy aren't you?"  I was livid.  I used a great amount of self control and gently corrected her.  She told me she was there to 'practice' for when she has her own kids....keep practicing lady.  The world will speak stupid things to our children soon enough.   I talked to him later about what she had said.  I told him that he wasn't evil and talked about all the wonderful qualities that make him who he is... loving, good friend, protector, creative, sweet son, etc.

A friend and I feed the homeless every weekend.  We load up red wagons and walk downtown, the skate park and other areas.  Sometimes I take my boy with me.  He is moved at what he sees.  The poverty and brokenness of the people has made an impression on him.  He has compassion.  He watches us and follows suit.

Serving homemade pizza...

My relatives run a soup kitchen in Burney and we head to the mountains a couple of times a month to serve.  Sam likes to go and hangs out in the thrift store that helps fund the kitchen.  This week though, he asked me if he could serve the food.  I had him glove up and he jumped right in...I watched him recite the menu to each person and ask them what they would like to eat and then pick up a plate and begin to dish  up the food.  He carried on conversations with the people and smiled as he handed them their plates.  A while later he walked out into the dining room and began asking the people if they enjoyed the food and how did it taste.  I was so proud of him.  He watches.  He listens.  He acts.

How I treat people is how he treats people.  I am increasingly aware of this.  There are a few choice words I use when I am irritated (not cuss words)...but words my momma would frown at ;)...I heard him using my language on his dog the other day and made a mental note.  He watches and listens.

Serving the Chicken Salad

Taking a break and using the left over pizza foil.  He believes in recycling!

I need to make every moment count.  I need to watch my words.  I need to be aware of what he sees and not just when he is watching me.  Too soon he  will grown and my job of setting his feet on the right path will be done and then I will get to watch HIM and listen to HIM.  I have no doubt that he will be a wonderful man full of his faith and compassion for others.  Not because of me...but because of WHO we serve and how we serve. 

Just One More Tool....

Just when I think I have every tool I will ever need...I discover a new method or medium that I just have to have.

 I enjoy working with metals and was intrigued by some leaves I saw in a magazine.  They appeared etched but were actually stamped into the copper.  So began my search to find out how this was done.
My task proved to be a challenge.

Some artists are tight lipped about their processes and others, like me, like to share, teach and learn.  Finally, I found someone who was willing to spill the beans and I discovered that I would need a Rolling Mill.  This tool is slightly expensive and will have to wait to join my tool family...but I will clear a place for it and save some copper for that day.

Art is always changing for me and that is why I often find the need to get a new tool.  I think I am inspired by what is around me and what I am going through at any given time and sometimes the 'same old thing' won't work.  "The right tools for the right job" so to speak.

Just like in my studio, when I think I have every tool I will ever need.... I can often feel like I 'have it all together' only to learn that life is always changing and that I may need to upgrade  my personal tool box like  learning how to relax, play more, laugh and breathe. 

Every Girl Needs to Twirl

I remember the twirl. Wearing my favorite dress or skirt and twirling around and around on our front lawn.  I always looked down watching the fabric swirl around in the air.  When the twirl stopped I would crumple to the ground and watch the world twirl around ME.  I love that!

 Recently,  I had the joy of making my first twirl dress for a  special little girl, Ashli.  It was fun watching it come together and every once in a while I would twirl it on the hanger to make sure there was enough ''lift" and to my delight it floated...

The dress skirt took over 100 squares of 8 different fabrics and the gathering of those squares...well...took some deep breathing.   But it was worth it!

Ashli twirls and twirls in her dress and looks beautiful.

I don't twirl anymore...but maybe I should...

Controlled Creative Chaos

To the unknowing eye...my studio can appear to be a chaotic mess.   It's how I function while I create.  How does this look with that? Will this glue hold metal to glass?  Piles of rejected pieces of art...can they be combined to make something else?  I'm always thinking about new creations and dream about them, too.

My studio is my haven.  It's where I go when I need to decompress, relax, play and yes, sometimes cry.
It's my space.  My little nook where I make the ideas in my head and heart come alive.

I enjoy when my clients come in and dig through my desk, jars and buckets  and I hear them "ohh and ahhh"...and begin to create for themselves something that I can put together for them.  "I'm not at all creative" some will say...and I sit back and smile as they start to move broken piece of vintage jewelry around on papers and glass...seeing if this goes with that...I smile knowing that in all of us is a little chaotic creativity and in the middle of the chaos, for me at least, is a sense of peace.